How much of a discount would it take for you to buy a house that you're certain is haunted? One that could pass for the set of a grisly horror flick, unoccupied since the 1970s when someone was definitely (okay, possibly) murdered there?
Because ladies and gentlemen, the size, location and build of this newly-listed home for sale at 58 Beaty Ave. in Toronto makes its asking price — $999,999 — seem like a real steal.
And it'll steal your soul in return, if Stephen King has taught me anything.
All jokes about fictional historic murders and ghosts aside, the semi-detached Victorian in question is beautiful... from the outside.
The interior of the 2.5 storey house in South Parkdale is neat too, in its own way, like a 40-year-old time capsule coated with dust, rust and potentially mold.
As you may already have surmised, the property is being sold in "as is" condition.
The house, just minutes away from trendy Roncesvalles Village, boasts five bedrooms.
At least three of those bedrooms have standalone sinks in them, for some reason. Perhaps the property was used as a rooming house at one point?
The bathrooms aren't much prettier, with one giving off distinct Overlook Hotel Room 237 vibes. The other one is just ugly.
Whoever buys the house would need to put serious work into it, including hiring a medium to exile all spirits.
Peeling ceilings and windows covered up with plastic suggest that the home has at least a bit of structural damage.
Still, its bones seem strong, like most houses of this type in this one-time wealthy part of Toronto.
The wallpaper is also unique and cool-looking, albeit likely quite filthy.
The basement is unfinished, but somehow still isn't the creepiest part of this old-timey Parkdale manse.
Whatever your views on ghosts and mold, $999,999 does seem like a great price for a property of this size... there are tiny half-houses going in Roncey currently for well over seven figures.
The lot is also larger than what you'll find in many parts of the city — big enough for a full backyard with its own greenhouse.
Greenhouses are great for growing tomatoes and hiding dead bodies alike.
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