Police arrest machete-wielding clown in small Ontario city

Ever hear the one about a clown who tried to outrun the cops on his bike while a machete was hanging out of his backpack?

It's a lot less funny than it sounds at first blush, but with Halloween now just days away, news outlets all over the world are having fun with this bizarre story out of Guelph, Ontario.

Police in the city of just over 130,000 residents reported this weekend that a local man is facing weapons and drug charges after being arrested with "a large chunk of suspected pink fentanyl," among other illegal things.

The melee started around 2:30 a.m. on Friday morning when a male was reportedly dragged out of a business in the Willow Road and Dawson Road area.

An employee of the business is said to have called police in Guelph, which is one hour west of Toronto, to report that "a male wearing a clown mask and carrying a machete had dragged another male out of the business." A second male was reportedly able to escape the clown's terrifying grasp and break free.

Officers arrived quickly, according to the Guelph Police Service, and found "a male wearing a clown mask riding a bicycle with what appeared to be a machete sticking out of his backpack."

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— 𝚃𝚘𝚍𝚍 𝚅𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚘𝚎 (@ToddVercoe) October 22, 2021

Despite the fact that the suspect was on a bike, police chased him on foot. They were eventually able to stop and arrest him — though by that point, they say, he had already tossed his roughly 30-inch-long blade.

"During a search incident to arrest, officers located a large chunk of suspected pink fentanyl with a value of approximately $450, two cell phones, a digital scale, small plastic baggies and $200 cash. Also located was a debit card and driver's licence which had earlier been reported stolen from a vehicle," reads the police report.

"Investigation revealed the original interaction at the business was over drugs."

Better drugs than immortal souls, I suppose, but creepy nonetheless.

A 36-year-old male from Guelph has been charged with possession of a weapon for a dangerous purpose, possessing controlled substances for the purpose of trafficking, possessing identity documents and possessing property obtained by crime in connection with the case.