‘Soaked and shivering, I order a spritz’: how I holidayed in Venice – without leaving York

Unable to get to Italy, I spent a day recreating a Venetian mini-break in my home town. Who needs the Grand Canal when you’ve got the Ouse?

One of the happiest times of my life was the month I spent in Venice last year. I’m desperate to go back – when I die, I want to be reincarnated as one of those well-fed Venetian seagulls – but it’s not on the cards, financially or practically. Thankfully I live in York, which is also very old and full of locals complaining about tourists. Could I have a Venetian adventure right here?